there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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