I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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