Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
