I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize