I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
