If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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