so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
