I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
