Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize