1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
