STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize