Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
