thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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