i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
