he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
