Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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