I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize