So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
