I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
