I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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