then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
