Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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