yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
