Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
