U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
