Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
