Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
