The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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