I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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