ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
