so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
