Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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