Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
