I want to walk on stilts...naked
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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