never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
