I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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