we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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