Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
