Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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