you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
