Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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