Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
