Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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