just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
