i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
is it fun? or sober?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
