I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
