Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
