got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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