im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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