You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
