It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
