i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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