Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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