In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
